![]() Everyone has a different soulful capacity I’ve found that accepting what happened is vital to the process of inner growth and transformation, WITHOUT self-pity. Mourning what we lost is a natural part of the grief cycle, but constantly revisiting and dwelling on our stories is unhealthy and even self-destructive. It’s tempting to use our stories of abandonment and mistreatment to make us secretly feel righteous and special, but the truth is that this does more harm than good. I discovered this the hard way: the more you victimize yourself and romanticize your pain, the more you will stay stuck in cycles of misery and resentment. You are a victim of circumstance, but you don’t have to pity yourself Understanding this can help you to better empathize with others, or at the very least, comprehend why they behave the way they do. How can a person who doesn’t know how to love themselves show love towards others? It doesn’t happen. As a result, those of us who struggle with loving ourselves tend to sabotage our relationships with others. There is a huge self-love deficit in our society which is reflected in every layer of our lives. In other words, most people don’t LIKE, respect, or even value themselves. This is what I have personally learned about facing the pain of feeling unwanted: 1. But today I want to provide you with something proactive, something that will empower you to take your life in your own hands again. Like you, I have suffered terribly as a result of it. Like you, I have experienced abandonment in many different shapes and forms. What can we do to explore and heal these core wounds? How can we tear down the brick walls that shelter the tattered remnants of our hearts? And finally, how can we become stronger, more whole people again? Therefore, more and more of us are experiencing the isolation of being abandoned, cheated and forgotten. As our ability to communicate empathetically and meaningfully with others breaks down as a result of our “ME FIRST!” corporate and materialist culture, we find that our families, friendships and relationships are as unstable as ever. We have found ourselves in a period of time which I like to call the Individualist Era. Other common core wounds that arise as a product of feeling unwanted include, “I am not worth it,” “I am unlovable,” and “I am irreparably broken.” 4 Ways to Deal With Feeling Unwanted and Unloved “I must change or fix something about myself in order to be acceptable.” “I am flawed and therefore a bad person.” For most of us, these core wounds within us are ruled by the following two mistaken beliefs: They are our oldest and most miserable friends. Our core wounds are our deepest seated pains in life. ![]() These experiences when left unexamined for too long become our core wounds or the deepest fundamental beliefs that we have about ourselves on an unconscious level.Īs Sol wrote in his article “ How to Discover Your Deepest, Darkest Core Wound”: But these shocking experiences continue to dwell within us only if we fail to explore them. ![]() When we experience a severe form of abandonment or neglect, particularly at a young age, the shock from that experience tends to stay with us for the rest of our lives. “I Am Not Worth It” Might Be Your Core Wound Today I want to explore that void within you. But the one thing that all of these different facets of being neglected have in common is the big gaping hole they leave in our lives. Feeling unwanted and unloved can manifest itself physically, emotionally, psychologically, and even spiritually. One thing I’ve learned on my path is that abandonment takes many different shapes and forms.
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